. . .the mid-life has brought a re-newed sense of family and awareness of the importance of forgiveness and true growth. . .my nephew (acutally my first cousin once removed) who just recently relocated to seattle to continue raising his 2 sons after living in san francisco for 2 years and is in san diego training with the navy reserves for 2 weeks. . .drove up to visit accompanied by his 2 second cousins along with mom and beau in tow. . .meeting up with me, other cousin & beau, cousin & daughter, and grand aunt & husband. . .a day spent sipping mimosas, playing with jack terriers, starbucks and johnny rockets at hollywood & highland, strolling the boulevard and graumann's chinese, and ending with thai at sanamluang. . .all building on a recent foundation of cyber, tele-, and in-person conversations filled with mature perspectives on growing up with pilipino immigrant uber traditional parents wrought with anger, tragedy, despair but also joy, laughter, and love. . .makes one feel not so alone in regret and rejoice of days past and a childhood spent in kalihi, honolulu, oahu, hawaii. . .ultimately it confirms a recurring adage: throughout your life, you can pick and choose those you call friend but from beginning to end - your family is your family - for good, for bad, in sickness and in health. . .for this day - a gift, i am truly grateful. . .anyways, sure beats my original plans of going to work and reducing my microsoft outlook in-box of its 600 saved emails. . .lol. . .a busy week ahead and england looms ever closer with the institute of fundraising at the hilton metropole birmingham. . .i am anxious. . .
. . .what a strange but wonderfully fantastical day. . .i woke up really worried about how i was going to get through these four events that i was scheduled to attend and now without my trusty assistant who i rely upon for help, interaction, and companionship on these work things. . .but very unfortunately is experiencing a major health crisis with his father and so had to jet to northern california. . .so i was more than a little concerned to initiate this series of commitments. . .but not to worry, the historic filipinotown farmers market was all right for an extended lunch with lots of familiar company and purposeful strengthening of bonds with latino staff. . .the trip to los angeles theater center for the philippine dance and rondalla concert was great with a good friend and her daughter. . .then a quick jaunt home to change and lo and behold a call from my nephew who i have not seen for about 10 years, out of the blue and more conversations with cousins. . .although we did have to flake (the l.a. way!) on the next stop at the councilman swearing-in thing at union station. . .i did manage to get a good friend, my cousin and cousin-in-law to accompany mois to the pwc benefit dinner at the first baptist church. . .then we night-capped at the silverlake good luck bar and that was a cool end to a smooth day. . .praise god that my fears of isolation and failure did not come to fruition. . .still sad for my trusted assistant but i did send a hearfelt email and loving energy his way. . .okay sleepy sleepy time now. . .
P.S. PROFUSE APOLOGIES TO MR. SEAN 808080. . .as i should have given very due credit to his wonderful talents as a fabulous photographer. . .for allowing me to borrow the above "angel statue photograph". . .living in this city of angels has perhaps made me lose my more angelic qualities of protocol, etiquette, and kindness. . .so for that i am sorry. . .and i send much gratitude, thanks, and deference to sean. . .mahalo. . .xoxo. . .
this wasn't my emotion from the test, but today ended strangely with the pain of someone currently close to me. . .it started off oddly enough and got weirder as the day progressed. . .evening spent with me cuzins was all right and seemed to balance away the hours. . .and yet i somehow cannot escape the feeling that big changes are afoot. . .and today may be the sign of directional adjustments to come. . .one can only pray for positivity and ultimately love to triumph over all adversity. . .xoxo, pete. . .
. . .OKAY PEOPLES. . .BIG CHANGE:. . .I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO UN-"ANONYMOUS" MY SUBSCRIPTIONS. . .there really was and IS only one person that i still need to remain anonymous to and if and when he ever reads this, he will understand that certain boundaries must remain until the end-of-service occurs and many things left unsaid in a very typical filipino libra fashion (BTW - hope you are not not blogging on my account and your update today is ludicrous - you do have talent and potential and a future - part of my job is to help you develop it, yes?), okay 'nuff said bout that. . .so anyways. . I DO APOLOGIZE to any and all "xangans" who seemed a bit taken-a-back with the "MYSTERIOUS STRANGER" thing going-on but since i was inadvertently introduced to xanga whilst conducting hyperspace/cyber-research/investigation on that one person that i must remain anonymous to at least in this vein, it was a NATURAL PROGRESSION TO MAKE ALL my subscriptions unknownst although ultimately unnecessary. . .BUT I HAVE SEEN THE ERROR OF MY WAYS (as you will note on this page and the already extensive list of "sites i read") and will COME OUT TO THE WORLD OF XANGA in some strange official fashion although some of you have noticed the miscellaneous comments & e-props i have randomly left behind regardless and may well now notice the images i upon occassion have "borrowed" from others (hope that does not violate any written or unwritten xanga etiquette because i am fully aware that the images i post here may well end up in new worlds!). . .after all, WE ARE ALL VOYEURS now aren't we???. . .on to a productive day. . .god bless us everyone. . .
. . .okay so really great kinda good and long telephone conversation with mikey bruce last night. . finally decided to email SOMEBODY about this darn weblog thingy. . well dale, michael, and kevin got the word sofar. . .so nice to catchup from afar. . .from hollywood to kona and back - the magic of fiberoptics. . of course this only happened after i took a gander at mike's weblog and shock of shocks on the girlfriend or ex or whatver's father committing suicide. . .too overwhelming for my stoned numbness. . .but anyways, after reading mike's torrid chronology it occurs to me especially after his reaction to reading thru this site - perhaps i oughta include more personal remarks regarding LOVE and related-relationships stuff. . .everyone seems to inquire about that part of my life after some moments of re-acquaintedness. . .
all right - so the truth of the matter is that although i never did become a bonafide roman catholic clergy - its almost as if god has damned me at least of late to this celibate existence regardless. . .one might think that its because i haven't really tried to seek a partner and that one might be right. . .so the ultimate truth is that after having my heart broken in a million pieces more than once or twice or thrice or about 10-20 times, i have chosen to treat sex as a casual non-connected thing and love as a more universal application. . .yes, we have learned that there are indeed many kinds of love - familial, agape, porneo (?). . .so i find myself relishing in the freedom of being celibate and actively avoiding real intimate relations beyond physical and relishing my independence (as i always have) and being a slut. . .so don't get me wrong - i am certainly not CHASTE simply CELIBATE. . .or at least that is what i am claiming today. .
okay back to the real therapy now. . .
. . .hawaii pono'i. . .nana ikomo'i. . .kalani ali'i. . .ke ali'i. . .don't know if that is spelled right but saw this and had to put it up. . .i am biologically 25% hawaiian (and 25% chinese). . .but culturally 100% pilipino having been raised in an ilokano household in kalihi. . .watch out for the 'hood people. . .missing my island paradise. . .but october is the next return. . .although this also reminds me that london is but a week and a half aways. . .and that union jack is an integral part of the hawaiian flag. . .today was a return to the work intensive routine. . .but i do miss my short lived vaca. . .onwards to the week. . .
once again i just have to add a pic i got from onlynate since he seems to have such sumptuous taste. . .oh so similar to mois. . .thanks dude. . .your friends are cute too. . .also LOVE the bling on this hotaznstud. . .switching gears - just a solemn sunday gathering remembering a fallen comrade and uther-dedicated colleague. . .back to grind post-sunrise morrow. . .sipa, here i come again. . .
. . .okay folks back from america's finest city (the faobulus city of saint diego) and better for it. . .after the early morning longass traffic-plagued 3hour ride from the city of angels. . .it was the surreal experience of watching my nephew (actually first-cousin once removed in american, but nephew in philippine) graduate from elementary school or rather more accurately get promoted to middle school. . .that was cool but surreal - where the hell was MY bigass ceremony 32 years ago. . .lol. . .then after a stuffing at the very popular v.i.p. oriental buffet in chula vista, we all got the bright idea to take the red trolleys on the blue line to the village of seaport (little did we know that we really shoulda transferred to the orange line at 12th & imperial but oh well the walk did us good). . .that little jaunt downtown took up the restoftheday/evening (including a dozen margaritas+ on the rocks) and it was off to bed for the gang. . .then it was to the world of the sea on friday (aka seaworld - former land of pearl-diving and cruising-cute-young-things in the early '80's when mois was gainfully employed amongst the masses!). . .okay so that adventure with 10 members of the corpus/corpuz/egay/casora/anson/mendoza/kimizuka/ogura families took us to the latenight ocean fantasea fireworks display and an ultimate stinkyass stateofbeing ready for a shower and the mattress. . .but NO, the day could not totally end unless they dragged my ass to the casino viejas featuring a future filipino night and the oddest electronic roulette till 3am in the damn morning eating my $60 in no time flat. . .but after a hasty return and a brief catch of r.e.m., it was off to late breakfast/early lunch with the wonderful LOVES featuring the absolutely cutest marissa @ the world-famous l&l drive inn of national city. . .and it all ends with the 5, yes 5 fucking hours of travel back to this wonderful lalaland and my existence in my hollyweird hellhole. . .god bless us all. . .definitely calling it an early nitey nite. . .tomorrow beckons a solemn commemoration of a passionate, caring, filipina community leader that will be missed by many and is loved by all. . .my dearest linda mabalot, rest in peace. . .
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